what i owe to O
At the beginning of this, Oprah’s last season, I asserted that I would sit and watch every episode. I set my DVR to tape the season and prepared myself for lots of tears and remembering why I love her so much. I imagined that I would sit down in front of my HDTV and nod my head in agreement with O, as I often did, and maybe have a glass of wine or try something new, which she always seemed to get me to do.
I haven’t watched one of those past episodes. I simply couldn’t do it.
I picked up my yearbook a few days ago and turned to the Senior Aspirations page where we all stated our goals when we left school. You know what my goal was? I quote, “…to pursue a career in journalism.” What that quote didn’t say was that I wanted to be Oprah. I wanted to touch people the way that she has touched me, and millions of others around the world.
I was about to turn fourteen when Oprah appeared on my television screen. I was instantly hooked, mainly because she looked like me. Big hair, big personality, big body…and she was successful beyond what I could even begin to imagine for myself. I looked at her and saw myself; not only in physical form, but on a spiritual level that I don’t think I can even explain here.
Throughout the years, I have watched her change, morph really, into everything that I’ve ever wanted to be. Somewhere along the way, though, I began to want to be more me than her. I wanted to walk my own path, discover my own destiny, be my own person more than I wanted to be her. I believe that is about the same time that I started to take this writing thing a little bit more serious. You see, I’ve always known this is my destiny, to be a writer. I know that God is waiting on me to let go and let him take over the controls of my life. While sitting and watching Oprah’s farewell shows, I heard that voice that I’ve always heard whisper softly in my ear saying, “Go and put pen to paper, Marva. It is what you were born to do.”
So here I sit, in front of my computer, writing. Before I got to the real reason I’m sitting here in front of my computer with my hands on the keys, my nails clicking loudly on each letter, I had to thank Oprah. Without her, I would be that almost fourteen year old, growing into a grown ass woman, without knowing that I could be bigger and better than I could ever imagine. Even though I believe that now, I know that even Oprah couldn’t imagine her life to be what she experiences daily. What an amazing legacy, and I am humbled to have watched every day of it.
Now, it’s my turn to step into whatever God has planned for me. I don’t know what that is, I don’t even begin to imagine. But I owe it to God, and to Oprah, to try and then try again.
And that is exactly what I’m going to do. Starting right now.
Writing,
~ Marva
