The end of this year has finally come. I, for one, am going to be glad to see this year go. I am ready to bury it and move onto the new year and see what it holds, because it has to be better, right? I know I should focus on all the good that came out of this year…I mean, I got a new job that I finally feel comfortable in, and both me and my son are healthy. My family is good, and my life compared to other stories and people close to me is good. So why should I be down?
I shouldn’t, and that’s the point. I have a Hand guiding my path and I know it. Although I know that things may not come on my time, they will come in time. I’m working on my patience and my faith and believing. I am also learning how not to trust so much in me, but in God. This year has been a lesson in faith for me, and even though my faith is strong, I feel there is more for me to discover. I will continue on that journey.
Negative thoughts sometimes creep into my mind, often when I am laying in bed at night. I grab my Bible and open it and there is comfort there for me. If it gets too bad, I get up and do something to get those thoughts out of my head. I will not succumb to those dark moments; I will not allow them to take over me. I’ve been in that dark place, and I refuse to go back. But there is still something missing. I’m fighting these thoughts every day, and I manage to keep them at bay…but my life is still not in order. There is something missing that I have to find to put there to banish them forever. I don’t know what the answer is, but I’m determined to find it.
I believe that I am going through a transformation…and it is a painful one. But it is necessary in order for me to stand in the space that God wants me to stand in. I am on the road, but haven’t reached my destination yet; I still have road to travel. No matter what, I am willing to go the distance, because I want to reach the end. I want to know who the other person standing on the other side is. So I continue to fight, and I will not succumb!
Blessings and Happy New Year to you all,
