At the beginning of this, Oprah’s last season, I asserted that I would sit and watch every episode. I set my DVR to tape the season and prepared myself for lots of tears and remembering why I love her so much. I imagined that I would sit down in front of my HDTV and nod my head in agreement with O, as I often did, and maybe have a glass of wine or try something new, which she always seemed to get me to do.
I haven’t watched one of those past episodes. I simply couldn’t do it.
I picked up my yearbook a few days ago and turned to the Senior Aspirations page where we all stated our goals when we left school. You know what my goal was? I quote, “…to pursue a career in journalism.” What that quote didn’t say was that I wanted to be Oprah. I wanted to touch people the way that she has touched me, and millions of others around the world.
I was about to turn fourteen when Oprah appeared on my television screen. I was instantly hooked, mainly because she looked like me. Big hair, big personality, big body…and she was successful beyond what I could even begin to imagine for myself. I looked at her and saw myself; not only in physical form, but on a spiritual level that I don’t think I can even explain here.
Throughout the years, I have watched her change, morph really, into everything that I’ve ever wanted to be. Somewhere along the way, though, I began to want to be more me than her. I wanted to walk my own path, discover my own destiny, be my own person more than I wanted to be her. I believe that is about the same time that I started to take this writing thing a little bit more serious. You see, I’ve always known this is my destiny, to be a writer. I know that God is waiting on me to let go and let him take over the controls of my life. While sitting and watching Oprah’s farewell shows, I heard that voice that I’ve always heard whisper softly in my ear saying, “Go and put pen to paper, Marva. It is what you were born to do.”
So here I sit, in front of my computer, writing. Before I got to the real reason I’m sitting here in front of my computer with my hands on the keys, my nails clicking loudly on each letter, I had to thank Oprah. Without her, I would be that almost fourteen year old, growing into a grown ass woman, without knowing that I could be bigger and better than I could ever imagine. Even though I believe that now, I know that even Oprah couldn’t imagine her life to be what she experiences daily. What an amazing legacy, and I am humbled to have watched every day of it.
Now, it’s my turn to step into whatever God has planned for me. I don’t know what that is, I don’t even begin to imagine. But I owe it to God, and to Oprah, to try and then try again.
And that is exactly what I’m going to do. Starting right now.
Oprah Winfrey has such a personality that it causes people to react one of two ways to her: they either love her or they “cain’t stand her,” as my mother says. I’ve always believed that the hate generates from some psychological feeling of inadequacy or low self-esteem. Because I can’t for the life of me look at Oprah and not love her. She is everything that I think we need to try to be as Black women.
On January 1st, Oprah launched her OWN network…let’s digest that for a moment. Her. OWN. Network. Chris Rock once told a joke that went something like this: “Shaq is rich; the white man who signs his checks is wealthy.” Chris said during his comedy special, Never Scared, that there are no wealthy Black people in America. Well, Chris…you are wrong. One of the things that I’ve always admired about Oprah is that she signs her own checks. The decisions she makes are her own, and there is no one above her to tell her what to do and how to be. That is freedom.
I spent most of the day on January 1st watching OWN. One of the most impressive shows was Masterclass. I only got to see the one with Jay-Z, but it held me captive for the entire hour. I’ve been a fan of Jay’s for a long time, and I learned something new. It was riveting to hear his thoughts on everything from fame, success and failure, and being a man. The stories told here are, quite simply, fascinating. And it doesn’t stop at Jay-Z; future Masterclass episodes feature Diane Sawyer, Maya Angelou, and Sidney Poitier.
Below is just a brief clip of Jay-Z’s Masterclass:
video credit: originally uploaded to youTube on January 2, 2011 by 13hoodtmz
Back to Oprah for a second. I spent 30 minutes of my life—that I wish I could have back—watching Basketball Wives. The women, Black women, were acting as if they had no sense of decorum or respect for themselves or each other. I was disgusted by what I saw and it made me ask, “Is this what we as Black women have to look to?” Even as much as we try to label this show and others like it as entertainment, the images that are portrayed on television leave a lasting impression on those who view it. If you are ignorant, then you adapt these images as what all Black women are: loud, obnoxious, ghetto (whatever you want to call it). I rebuke this; I would much rather people look at Oprah and say, “There is the Black woman that I know,” than look at the women on Basketball Wives and say the same.
Oprah Winfrey, and her OWN network, offers something different. It offers things that can help you, teach you, inspire you…and that is the television I prefer to watch. If I want to be a better person, I need to be surrounded by those things that make me want to be better.
OWN is one of those things. It has a fan for life in me.
This has been a rough week. I am grateful for the weekend and ready to get at these cocktails ASAP. But first, here are my 5Things for this week:
5 – Which God Do They Serve?
Because the God that I serve does not promote the use of his name towards such hatred. On Saturday, as her friends and family gather to lay Elizabeth Edwards to rest, this church group will stage a protest. There is a vile, hate-filled flyer that the church released that attempts to explain their reasoning behind such a hurtful and abhorrent display; I will not display it here (Google it). It makes me angry that this group of people deem themselves to be judge and jury over the lives of people that they have decided are not worthy of respect. Of course, this is not the first time the church has staged this kind of protest; sadly, it also will not be the last. You can read the article here.
4 – Drink of the Week
I’m a fiend for martinis. I don’t like the basic martinis; I like my martinis fruity…that fruit holds off the vodka. I once put down more than 5 martinis in one night. I don’t remember much, but I do remember that they were absolutely delicious. Good times.
My drink of the week is the Strawberry Martini. My favorite variation comes from The Cheesecake Factory. When I try to recreate it at home, it’s alright, but doesn’t come close. Here’s my recipe:
1 oz. cranberry juice
1 oz. vodka (vanilla flavored if you’ve got it)
1/2 oz. grenadine
fresh strawberry
Shake w/ ice and pour into martini glass and garnish with strawberry…voila!
3 – Bill Is Still a Boss
When President Bill Clinton took over the podium during President Obama’s press conference last week, I felt a twinge of nostalgia. I am still in support of President Obama (although he is stretching my support wa-aa-ay out of shape), but Bill Clinton was the reason I started voting in the first place. He was served from 1993 – 2001; I was 22 when he went into office. All of this politics stuff was new to me, although I took the customary car drive with my mother when she voted. But voting for Bill Clinton became personal to me…it was almost like I couldn’t wait to say that I voted for him. And I did…proudly, the same way that I did for President Obama.
2 – Oprah
I can’t say enough about how much I love Oprah. She is the ultimate, and she has always been, since her introduction to my television 25 years ago. I’ve been to her show, I’ve purchased all the books (even those book club books that I wanted to throw back at the television and scream, “What are you thinking?!), I have the DVDs, etc. etc. etc.
I had an epiphany while watching Oprah and Barbara. All that material shit means nothing if I haven’t changed my life for the better. I think I have, but there is so much more I could do.
1 – Lost In The World
I’ve been playing this Kanye CD non-stop. NON. STOP. I’ve finally identified a favorite (at least for today) and it is Lost in the World. I put on my headphones and let the music take me there. I hear something new every time I listen to it. This YouTube version does nothing for it…I dare you to sit in a quiet place and listen. It will steal your heart.
video credit: originally uploaded to YouTube on November 14, 2010 by KanyeDarkFantasy
At the beginning of this, Oprah’s last season, I asserted that I would sit and watch every episode. I set my DVR to tape the season and prepared myself for lots of tears and remembering why I love her so much. I imagined that I would sit down in front of my HDTV and nod my head in agreement with O, as I often did, and maybe have a glass of wine or try something new, which she always seemed to get me to do.
