the phoenix…
The tattoo? Well, the tattoo was the result of an impulsive decision Friday night. My friend and I were attending an outdoor concert and noticed that there was a little tattoo shop across from where we were sitting. During one of our wandering moments, we walked over to check it out.
Once we were in there, I decided why not? Why shouldn’t I do this now? Why wait until November when I turn 40 (which was my original plan)? I was going to get a tattoo, another one, so this opportunity just presented itself.
Now a little history on why I chose the phoenix. My first tattoo is of a butterfly. I got that one when I turned 30. Back then, I felt my wings forming, felt myself coming into womanhood and wanted something that would constantly remind me to spread those wings and fly. Having lived through the past 10 years since that tat, I wanted my next one to say something about perseverance and resiliency. Because that is what I do: I persevere. I am resilient.
So I started researching. And came across the story of the phoenix. The phoenix is a sacred bird of the Egyptians. At the end of its lifespan, which can be as long as 1000 years, it builds a nest that ignites. Out of the dust and ashes, out of the fire, out of all of that trauma, a new phoenix arises. That’s how I feel about where I am right now. I’ve been through the dust and ashes, I’ve been burned, and I have experienced trauma. But everything about me still standing here feels brand new. I see things through brand new eyes, I hear through brand new ears, I feel with brand new skin. I have been reincarnated as a much better, stronger, beautiful version of my old self.
I am blessed, and I know it. I look at this new tattoo and it will forever remind me to rise. It will forever make me think that no matter what life throws at me, I will persevere. It will forever mean to me that I am strong, that I am free, that I am unique. That in itself is a huge gift that I thank God for every day.
Still I rise,
M
