So every once and while, I’m going to give you a peek into the Soundtrack of Marva. These are the songs that speak what I sometime cannot.

I could write a story, or tell you exactly who and what the song describes, but I won’t. Those that know, know…that’s all that matters.

Since Jill takes up much space on the soundtrack, we shall let her kick things off…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0UDyhlYYPc

video credit: Uploaded by hiddenbeachmedia on Nov 14 2007

“Didn’t you know this? Or didn’t you notice?”…

~ M

Don’t mismanage your kitty.

As women, we often find ourselves in predicaments that our kitty has led us into. We may be women of substance, but once kitty begins purring and begging to be scratched, we face the possibility of forgetting our substance and becoming a slave to what kitty wants. What we forget is that, without careful consideration, we could end up applying a temporary fix to a problem that demands a permanent solution.

That is mismanagement, ladies.

I get that we all are sexual beings. I get that we all need to be touched and kissed. I get that we crave intimacy. I’m a grown ass woman; I know that applies to me as it does other women. What we cannot do though, is allow the kitty to stray from home to home without ensuring her safety. Not everyone is worthy of petting the kitty. Not everyone deserves to hear her purr. You must choose her playmates carefully. Sometimes that tom cat sniffing at your door is not what he appears to be. Check his pedigree first, ladies. Make sure he has all of his shots, make sure he comes from a good home, and for God’s sake, make sure he is not sniffing around every door in the neighborhood waiting for the first door to open up so he can bounce in.

Take care of your kitty. Nurture her. Allow her to purr when she wants to. She can have playmates; she is allowed her fun. Just don’t let her make any decisions that could potentially fuck up your entire life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yahNg-mJ4p8

video credit: uploaded by beyonceVEVO on Oct 3 2009

♫…Let’s go little Kitty Kat…♫,

M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oN0tFgLcp4g

video credit: uploaded by robertglasper on Jan 5, 2012

Do you hear the goodness?! I immediately sought out a copy of the full CD and it did not disappoint. Robert Glasper’s Black Radio is lush and euphoric; it is sensual and breathtaking. It is everything that music should be, plus some. There is not much music that impresses me these days; it seems that I have to wade through all of the bullshit that mainstream pushes on us, attempting to get us to believe that what is hot is what they choose. I think not. It is CDs like this that renew my belief that music shall belong to the true artists, and not to labels who apparently don’t have a clue what those of us who consider ourselves music aficionados love.

What I love most is that every single song highlights both the music and vocals. You get lost in trying to decide which you love more. With guest vocalists such as Bilal, Chrisette Michelle, and Lalah Hathaway, it can be expected that some magic is going to happen. And it does…over and over again.

The only thing that is missing? Jill. Scott.

♫…you gotta be with someone you like…♫,

M

I begin to think, however, that if I love books so much, shouldn’t I give them all a try to impress me (because that is really what it is about)? Should I automatically disregard or dismiss a book simply because, from the outside looking in, it doesn’t appear to meet my standards (whatever those may be)? I decided that I didn’t want to do that. So, this month for my book club (Words and Wine…hey ladies!) we selected Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James. And I have to say that I immediately got caught up in the love story between Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele.

Now, I have to preface my review with a disclaimer: this book, this series of books, is absolute smut. It is sex on top of sex on top of more sex…and I loved it! I also have to say that if you are looking for a Pulitzer Prize worthy piece of fiction, this is not it. Just my own personal opinion, this book is very poorly written and at times can become redundant in its sexual escapades. I found that as I read, the story became quite predictable, but that didn’t stop me from reading it; in fact, I think I kept reading it  because I loved the story.

At the base of this trilogy of books is a love story. I love a love story; I will always believe that love exists and can happen at any time, in any place. I think that is what kept me reading. I loved watching the relationship between Christian and Ana evolve into something more than just kinky sex and debauchery. It reminds me of the movie, Pretty Woman. Same premise, I think…a rich, powerful man falls in love with a regular girl and sweeps her completely off her feet. There are walls to tear down, on both sides, and obstacles to overcome, but this story fell right in line with what I believe love is and how it becomes: no matter how hard you try, when you meet the person destined for you, love will chase you down and make you give in.

I think E L James either is very lucky or has excellent connections, because these books belong in the $.99 bin at the local bookstore. But I don’t think one can ignore the fact that she has created a story that resonates with women. I think we all want to feel that feeling of burgeoning love; we all want to be caught up and outside of ourselves with love. That’s the beauty in Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, and Fifty Shades Freed. It reminds us that the falling in love part is the best part.

I give these books a very solid 3 stars. Don’t read it if you are looking for a smart, well-written book. Read it if you are looking for a basic love story that includes lots of sex.

Laters baby (© Christian Grey),

M

It’s never too late to begin again. And if you fail at something, the only success is getting back up and trying again.

So here I am, once again. Writing, thinking, sharing. I realized that I have someplace I can return to when I need to express myself…that’s why I started this blog in the first place. I also know that when I feel broken, heart and spirit alike, I can come back here to heal myself. I can come back to what I love. I can come back to who I am.

Over the course of the next few weeks, this place will begin to look different. I’m not looking for an audience; simply a place where I can write whatever the hell I want to and feel safe. I welcome your opinions and suggestions, but I am not looking for validation or approval. I haven’t quite mapped out yet the direction I’m going in, but I will figure it out as I go along. This will be one of my priorities, and I fully intend to put all that I have into it.

Thank you to everyone who reads my words. Thank you to those who offer encouragement and support. Thank you for allowing me to begin, yet again.

M

]]> http://www.conversationswithmarva.com/2012/05/13/beginning-again/feed/ 0 http://www.conversationswithmarva.com/2012/02/22/a-blues-for-nina/ http://www.conversationswithmarva.com/2012/02/22/a-blues-for-nina/#comments Thu, 23 Feb 2012 02:02:57 +0000 Marvalus http://www.conversationswithmarva.com/?p=715 Yesterday would have been Nina Simone’s 79th birthday. I first discovered Ms. Nina a long time ago. I can’t recall what I was watching, but “Feeling Good” was playing in the background and I fell instantly in love. Ms. Nina needs no vocal histrionics; she doesn’t use riffs or tricks. It is just her and her voice…that voice that is equally melancholy and inspiring. That voice that reaches in and grabs ahold of your soul and refuses to let go. As if you would want it to…

I would be remiss in honoring Ms. Nina, since she sings part of the soundtrack to my life. The part of heartache and yearning, the part of desire and wanting, the part of admission and adoration. My admiration for Ms. Nina goes deep…I am not just a surface fan. True, my introduction to her was one of her most popular songs. What I discovered, however, is that you don’t get to the essence of Ms. Nina until you listen to the other stuff that would never get played on the radio. “Don’t Explain,” “Lilac Wine,” and “Black is the Color of My True Love’s Hair” are just some of my favorites. The thing about Ms. Nina is that you can put her CD on and just leave it. She takes you up and down, in and out, around and through…and you are grateful for the journey. Ms. Nina teaches you how to respect yourself; she instructs you on being a woman; she opens your eyes to the world and pushes you to stand on your own.

I can’t imagine what I would do without her.

Happy Birthday, Ms. Nina.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ua2k52n_Bvw

Uploaded by TheJazzStreet on Jun 14, 2009

Ou l’amour s ‘ra roi,

~ M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsk0mNYaoKg

Uploaded by SlamminTv on Feb 28, 2010

There was only one thing that calmed me down. And that thing came at the very last minute it could have. It managed to be right on time.

You see, Thursday, February 16th, was exactly 6 months since my cousin Ed was murdered. We use death in various ways; one of the ways that I thought I could honor my cousin was to live my life fully and completely, everyday. I think I’ve done a pretty good job of that. Of course, I always think I could do more. There are not quite enough hours in the day.

On Thursday morning, when I woke up, I could feel a sense of exhilaration grip me. It stayed with me all day. I went to work for 4 hours that morning, and I found myself constantly hopping up out of my chair, almost run-walking to the bathroom or to the break room or to the copy room, or to talk to the HR Manager and/or Recruiter. I went outside a couple of times, and just walked around the building. I couldn’t quite figure out what was going on. I mean, I’m no stranger to public speaking; I am comfortable in front of an audience…I am a trainer, for crying out loud! I wasn’t worried about my voice giving out, or falling on stage (the horror!), or flubbing my lines. In fact, I wasn’t worried at all. So I didn’t understand for most of the day what on earth the feeling that I was feeling was.

Right before it was my time, I closed my eyes and said a quick prayer. I prayed that if it was God’s will, that someone would be touched by the words that would soon come out of my mouth. I prayed for God to use me in whatever way He needed to. After delivering my Monologue, and retreating back to my chair on stage, I looked up at the lights just above my head. I felt their warmth, I felt their glare, I felt the power. I smiled, because I felt my cousin smiling down on me. Giving me one of those good hugs he used to give to everyone. Telling me good job. You see, my cousin Ed is the main reason I decided to audition and consequently participate in The Vagina Monologues. Death makes everything urgent; all the things that you have put off until that time take center stage and beg to be completed, or at the very least, attempted. In the months following my cousin’s death, I finished the first draft of my book, started school again, lost 20 lbs., and participated in this play. I want to believe; I do believe that I am living my life in a way that honors his that was taken away so suddenly.

I am happy. I am at peace. I am alive. I am full. I don’t know what else the Lord has planned for me, but I look forward to discovering where He is going to take me. I anticipate the things that I know He is ready to do with me and for me. Oh, how I wish I could give this feeling to everyone that I know. I try; kind words filled with truth and love, and warm hugs are my methods of choice. Yesterday, during Whitney Houston’s homegoing celebration, Pastor Marvin Winans uttered these words:

The gifts that we have is God’s gift to us. But the life that we live is our gift to God.

I’m putting a big red bow on my gift.

Even me, Lord…even me,

~ M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2ShTtaZpgU

Uploaded by nigehazon on Jul 4, 2010

Hasten to his throne, Nippy. May your soul be at rest.

~ M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sF-8yCwNLEc

Uploaded by davoarg31 on Aug 27, 2011

No cute snippet for this one…just listen to that voice! You ever notice that when Whitney sang, she was just on stage with a microphone? No props, no dancers, nothing at all was needed.

~ M