No cute snippet for this one…just listen to that voice! You ever notice that when Whitney sang, she was just on stage with a microphone? No props, no dancers, nothing at all was needed.
~ M
I’m gonna be okay, I’m gonna be alright…
~ M
This week, we are going to pay homage to Whitney. Every day this week, I’ll post one of my favorite songs of hers. I begin with this:
“I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone’s shadow…if I fail, if I succeed, at least I’ll live as I believe…”
The greatest love of all,
~ M
I was 15. MTV ruled my world, and I lived and breathed by the music of my generation. I was in love with Michael and Prince, salivated over Duran Duran and New Edition, and sang along with Luther and Sade. These musicians cemented my love of music. But there was one who made me believe in the power of voice. A magnificent, pure, clear as a bell voice that lifted me out of darkness and sent me soaring right along with the notes that she sang so effortlessly.
That one was Whitney Houston. Her death has left me with with a mixture of feelings, not the least being extreme heaviness of heart.
Last night, once the news soaked in (or once I allowed myself to accept it was true), I had a monumental crying session on my living room floor. When Michael died, I laid in the floor and just screamed. This, albeit just as tragic and heartbreaking, felt different. There is a depression attached that plagues me. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that when Whitney was going through darkness, I prayed for her. I prayed and prayed and prayed that she would one day be that vibrant woman that I watched on television and heard on the radio. I didn’t pray for her to regain her voice; I have records that would comfort me and remind me that she was the greatest voice I have ever heard. I prayed for her to regain her life. I prayed for her to return to herself, minus the demons and troubles she experienced. I prayed for her to be better and stronger and wiser.
I would never speculate on what she was in her last days. I would never assume that I know what she went through. I just know that this hurts. The only thing I can do is immerse myself in the music. It will speak louder and clearer than I could on my own.
RIP, Nippy. I love you. I pray that you have found peace.
It seems that I have a new addiction. It is eating away at my time, and I’ve discovered that I can literally spend hours doing it. It calls my name at various times of the day: “Hey Marva, don’t you want to check me out to see what’s new?” I’m addicted…and I love it!
The “it” is Pinterest. All those beautiful things that I see once or twice on the web? Well now they have a place to call home. Pinterest is my own personal web pinboard. I don’t have to bookmark this page or that, I don’t have to save pictures to my hard drive anymore…I simply pin whatever it is that has caught my eye to the board of my choice…and voila! I am still fairly new to Pinterest, but I already have 15 boards. Of what, you ask? Well, I have one for clothes that catch my eye; I have another for food and frosty beverages; I even have one for those pictures of beautiful men that make me say, “Damn!”
What I like best is that it is truly a community thing. People I don’t know follow me, and I follow people who I don’t know. The community thing helps you to connect with people who you might not connect with under normal circumstances. It gives me a chance to share my love of shoes and books and beautiful men and houses (I think you get the point). I don’t know who’s idea Pinterest was, or how it came about, but I want to give that person (or persons, whatever works) a great big hug and a gold star!
Anywho, my name is Marva and I am a Pinterest addict. And I’m quite okay with that. If you are there too, press the button and let me know you are there. We may like some of the same things.
Jump up in the air, and stay there…
~ M
Let’s revisit Adele for a moment. It is highly likely that she will be the belle of the ball come Grammy night. Well deserved, I think. No other CD released last year even lit a candle next to Adele’s magnum opus, 21. While we wait for the inevitable, let’s dig a little deeper into what makes this CD so damn good.
First, I think it is a rare combination of honesty and vulnerability. We all are aware of the story of how this CD came about because of a break up that nearly broke this woman. Instead of relenting to the pain of a broken heart, Adele poured all of the anger, all of the resentment, all of the questions into this 11-song CD. Every song is wistful and yearning; every song touches a bit of your soul. It certainly does help that Adele’s voice has a little bit of magic in it. You can feel her pain.
Second is that voice. At times, Adele’s voice is soft and purring. You want to cozy up next to it and rub your face against it. It is comforting. Other times, it is raw and guttural. It makes you take notice, makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. I read recently that Adele heard Etta James sing when she was younger and that is when she knew she wanted to be a singer. Now that is inspiration, because no one did raw and gut-wrenching singing like Etta James. There are not very many vocal tricks in Adele’s singing; it is pure. One of the things I love the most is that she doesn’t need any vocal enhancements to make her sound better. When I sing in the shower, I think I sound pretty good. When Adele sings in the shower, she sounds like Adele. Makes me want to stop singing.
Lastly, we all have experienced heartache and pain due to a failed relationship. We all know how the tears come unmitigated, sometimes by surprise, sometimes willed to appear by our wanting to get it out. Adele’s 21 is one long crying session. It is the questions of why and how; it is the uncertainty of moving on; it is love set to music.
I normally grab a hold of a CD that I love and play it until I cannot stand to hear it any longer. I’ve been playing Adele’s 21 for almost exactly a year now, and every time I listen to it, I find something else that I love about it. There are only a handful of CDs that I can say that about. 21 is definitely one of those.
Set fire to the rain,
~ M
I’ve read so many books and written so many words this weekend that it’s all running together. It’s a busy season for me. Two online classes, increased responsibility at work, book club, editing my own book, and rehearsing for the Vagina Monologues. That’s a lot. But I like the busyness; I like having almost too much to do. It keeps my mind from becoming the devil’s playground. It keeps me from fantasy and imagination. It keeps me in reality.
So here I sit, on a cool 43° Sunday morning, writing. There is no place I would rather be, nothing I would rather be doing. I think of all the things that need to be done and I want to run and do them all at once. That’s impossible. I’ll tackle one thing at a time, making sure that my time is occupied. The busyness helps me to sleep better. The busyness allows me to appreciate those moments when I have the time to sit still and listen. The busyness will never find me complaining.
The one thing I never want to become is someone who loses kinship with busyness. I never want to find myself sitting alone, moving from room to room in my home, looking for busyness. I embrace all that busyness brings, and invite more. God has never given me more than I can handle. So during these times, I simply resolve to do. There is no other way I would have it.
Rolling in the deep…
~ M
Even when things seem to be going awry, even when I don’t think I can find the strength, even when I fall down…I am forever grateful. For my friends who tell me the truth, for my family that loves me no matter what, for all of life’s experiences…I can only say thank you. I know it all means something.
I woke up with this song on my heart. I pray that it speaks to you as it has spoken to me.
He kept me, in the midst of it all…
~ M
My mind is cluttered. I have so many things going on that I am having a hard time focusing. What bothers me is that most of the thoughts in my mind are questions, not answers. I like to think I am deliberate. I like to think that I move swiftly and walk ahead with purpose. This Sunday morning finds me indecisive and doubtful. I absolutely hate it when this happens.
I am going to blame it on the Full Moon. With every Full Moon that occurs, I get all in my feelings and things that I am trying to avoid or ignore stand up front and center in my face, demanding attention. I guess the positive way to look at this period of time is that it is the Universe’s reminder to me to close doors and end chapters. It also may be the Universe’s way of reminding me to stay open and free. Those things that I can’t seem to resolve (or honestly, won’t resolve) keep staring me in my face. What prevents me from dealing with them? What am I waiting on?
I think about shit too much. Even when I should let go and let God, I want to find a way to fix everything. That is just the way I’m built. It gets me into trouble when I run into something that I can’t or shouldn’t fix. I believe there are some things that are just meant to be. There is no repair to be done, no need to fiddle with it; just let it be what it is. I struggle with that, so I sit and think about it until I’ve exhausted myself and wind up…here.
The good news is that this is a temporary state. It will pass and I will get back to walking with purpose and being deliberate and afraid of nothing. For now, I am going to allow my mind to wander. I am going to allow myself to feel what I am feeling, hear what I am hearing, and be what I am. Eventually those questions that swirl around in my mind will have answers.
My poor heart is sentimental, not made of wood…
~ M
