sunday morning, thinking…
My mind is cluttered. I have so many things going on that I am having a hard time focusing. What bothers me is that most of the thoughts in my mind are questions, not answers. I like to think I am deliberate. I like to think that I move swiftly and walk ahead with purpose. This Sunday morning finds me indecisive and doubtful. I absolutely hate it when this happens.
I am going to blame it on the Full Moon. With every Full Moon that occurs, I get all in my feelings and things that I am trying to avoid or ignore stand up front and center in my face, demanding attention. I guess the positive way to look at this period of time is that it is the Universe’s reminder to me to close doors and end chapters. It also may be the Universe’s way of reminding me to stay open and free. Those things that I can’t seem to resolve (or honestly, won’t resolve) keep staring me in my face. What prevents me from dealing with them? What am I waiting on?
I think about shit too much. Even when I should let go and let God, I want to find a way to fix everything. That is just the way I’m built. It gets me into trouble when I run into something that I can’t or shouldn’t fix. I believe there are some things that are just meant to be. There is no repair to be done, no need to fiddle with it; just let it be what it is. I struggle with that, so I sit and think about it until I’ve exhausted myself and wind up…here.
The good news is that this is a temporary state. It will pass and I will get back to walking with purpose and being deliberate and afraid of nothing. For now, I am going to allow my mind to wander. I am going to allow myself to feel what I am feeling, hear what I am hearing, and be what I am. Eventually those questions that swirl around in my mind will have answers.
My poor heart is sentimental, not made of wood…
~ M
Tags: Sunday Morning
