Conversations with Marva

My Heart, Outside My Body

Fifteen years ago today, I gave birth to the greatest gift I have ever been given. I remember thinking when I laid my eyes on him for the first time, how special he was and what a great person he was going to be. I vowed right then and there to love him with everything in me, and to do everything in my power to make sure that he lived a life he could be proud of. I also knew then that my heart lived outside my body, and in him.

I believe in all my heart that my son is destined for greatness…I mean, what parent doesn’t believe that? I believe that he is the best, even when his grades are terrible, even when he leaves empty orange juice containers in the fridge (or worse, on the dining room table), even when he leaves his smelly socks in my car and I get in and get assaulted. It is not enough that I believe that he is the best; I make sure that I tell him and show him how much I love and respect the person he is becoming.

My baby is 15 today; I’m starting to have to look upward at him when we are standing side by side. He has started to close his door at night when he goes to bed, and his friends take up much of his life. I tell him all the time that he will never find a bigger champion for him than his father and I. One day he’ll understand that.The hardest thing for me is to let him decide who he wants to be. I’ve had to learn how to take a backseat to everything else in his life, and that is such a change for me. He doesn’t need me as much as he used to, but I understand that it is a process. And as part of that process, I make sure that he knows that I am here for him, no matter what.

Happy Birthday, Jordyn. Mommy loves you…

Music For The Week: Floetry

The only way I can describe Marsha Ambrosius’s voice is lushness. There is something guttural and primal about her voice, and with the combination of the spoken word with her then partner, Natalie Stewart, the music was pure poetry. That was Floetry.

It absolutely broke my heart when I heard they disbanded. I still listen to Floetic from front to back…mostly because there are feelings and emotions wrapped up in the words that are sung and spoken that I only wish I could convey. But there is hope; I saw a feature on Centric about Marsha and her new album. I cannot wait!

For now, though, here is one of my favorite tunes from Floetry. Enjoy!