Sunday’s Thoughts: Nerves

I am feeling very anxious today…I start my new job tomorrow and although I am excited, there is a little apprehension in my soul. Not because of the decision, primarily because I know that this is something that will change my life. It is one of those things that you know you have taken the path that will change you, and even though you know it is the right path, you also know that the challenges will be there, and that there will be a lot of growth involved.

I am walking into an environment where change is necessary, and promoted. It almost feels like there will be a requirement for me to adapt and be flexible, and I think that I need this kind of mentality right now. Because of where I am in my life, I need an environment that is going to stimulate me in a way that I have not been stimulated in a long time; I am looking forward to being among people who are passionate and motivated, and who show and receive appreciation willingly and openly. Time will tell if that is what I will get.

I have a sense of urgency here, though; I must make this work. Accountability is one of my strongest character points…I will stand up here and fully be who I am supposed to be. Maybe I am putting undue pressure on myself to be; I am not attempting to fulfill something that I am not, though. This is who I am, a woman who is trying to walk her path and live up to her potential. Now that I have found the job, it is time to stand in it and allow myself to grow inside it…that is what gets me excited. The potential is monumental.

The good and the bad…the up and the down. The nerves are not bad nerves, but feelings of humility and an overwhelming sense of “really?” I still get verklempt at the thought of how this job came to me, and how I’ve been granted an open door to reconnect with my passion. It is amazing to me the pathway that I’ve travelled, and how the steps that I’ve taken have been outlined before I even knew they were there. I’ve been touched by grace…that’s all I can say.

But there has also been a huge boost to my confidence. I feel energized, and my swagger has improved drastically. So as I deal with my nerves, there is still this confidence that rules. I can’t wait to get in there and show my stuff…I am going to WORK THAT!!

video credit: originally uploaded to YouTube on December 19, 2007 by durtysouth000