May 182008

Sunday’s Thoughts: Climbing

Life is bigger than me. The world would go on without me in it. That is a harrowing thought, a humble thought, but a fact of reality. It is not important to me that I be known, or famous, or that my name be tossed around in circles. No, that is not me. What is me is the need for me to be humble and gracious in everything that I do. And to give honor to the God I serve by living my life in such a way that makes Him smile, and proud of me.

I am starting down the path to rediscovery. I am finding those things in my life which make me happiest, and that bring me joy. As I spun around in the gloomy world of losing my job, I lost myself and along with that, what it meant to be happy. I am slowly making the change to realize that I was not my job, I was not “Marva who worked at ******,” and I was not all the things that I once tried to be. I have been stripped of the pretenses, and I have been given the wonderful opportunity to discover and build once again who I am and what I want to be. That is a blessing.

Looking at life, it is never easy. If it was, it would be dull and boring. My lessons have hurt, but they have been necessary at snatching away all the falsehoods that I held onto. My old life is gone. My new life is just beginning. I am excited about what that means and what that life holds for me. I could have chosen to continue down the path I was on. I would probably be crazy by now, and I would have never discovered my voice, or my sanity, or had the view of the world from the side of the mountain I am climbing right now. I haven’t reached the top, but it is the climb that makes it all worth it.

Peace and blessings…

Vivrant Thang

Very inspirational. I was just telling my hair stylist this weekend that surely God has a plan for her because he has been putting her through some things. She lost everything in a fire a few months ago. Got back on her feet in a new place and a new shop and now she is being kicked out of the shop because the owners are selling it. I told her you are going to have a testimony after all these tests!

Keep climbing girly!

MarvalusOne

Cynthia - Somewhere in my mind, I know that losing that job was a freedom that I needed, and I'm grateful. But it has been overshadowed by the grief and anger for over a year and I'm just now getting to the point of releasing it...

Good for you! Here is a cyber hugh for you (((hug)))...

Cynthia

I lost my job two years ago and even though I was scared, I know it was the best thing for me. Actually, I remember laughing about it because I felt free.

I love my job now, even though it's not what I want to do forever. I'm with you, though. I'm on the path to finding myself. I've been in this fog since my mother passed away and I need to find me and what I want. I've been the caretaker for others for way too long.

Kudos to you. Keep up the good fight. It gets scary and frustrating at times but you are on the path to finding the real you...so this path is more than worth it!

MarvalusOne

D - Thank you...I think I am just beginning to release the anger; for a while, it has been hidden and I have ignored it, but it has always been there...I am ready now to just let it go. It doesn't belong here anymore...

Danielle

Bravo Marva! When I was laid off 3 yrs. ago, I had a alot of anger and it lead me to the very same questions. Who am I outside of "what I do"? Too often in this world, our value and worth are defined by what we do, what we have or what we are "lacking."

I'm glad to see you working your way back to defining yourself and acceptance of who that woman happens to be. It's one of the best things anyone can do for themselves. ;)