It seems that I have a new addiction. It is eating away at my time, and I’ve discovered that I can literally spend hours doing it. It calls my name at various times of the day: “Hey Marva, don’t you want to check me out to see what’s new?” I’m addicted…and I love it!
The “it” is Pinterest. All those beautiful things that I see once or twice on the web? Well now they have a place to call home. Pinterest is my own personal web pinboard. I don’t have to bookmark this page or that, I don’t have to save pictures to my hard drive anymore…I simply pin whatever it is that has caught my eye to the board of my choice…and voila! I am still fairly new to Pinterest, but I already have 15 boards. Of what, you ask? Well, I have one for clothes that catch my eye; I have another for food and frosty beverages; I even have one for those pictures of beautiful men that make me say, “Damn!”
What I like best is that it is truly a community thing. People I don’t know follow me, and I follow people who I don’t know. The community thing helps you to connect with people who you might not connect with under normal circumstances. It gives me a chance to share my love of shoes and books and beautiful men and houses (I think you get the point). I don’t know who’s idea Pinterest was, or how it came about, but I want to give that person (or persons, whatever works) a great big hug and a gold star!
Anywho, my name is Marva and I am a Pinterest addict. And I’m quite okay with that. If you are there too, press the button and let me know you are there. We may like some of the same things.
Let’s revisit Adele for a moment. It is highly likely that she will be the belle of the ball come Grammy night. Well deserved, I think. No other CD released last year even lit a candle next to Adele’s magnum opus, 21. While we wait for the inevitable, let’s dig a little deeper into what makes this CD so damn good.
First, I think it is a rare combination of honesty and vulnerability. We all are aware of the story of how this CD came about because of a break up that nearly broke this woman. Instead of relenting to the pain of a broken heart, Adele poured all of the anger, all of the resentment, all of the questions into this 11-song CD. Every song is wistful and yearning; every song touches a bit of your soul. It certainly does help that Adele’s voice has a little bit of magic in it. You can feel her pain.
Second is that voice. At times, Adele’s voice is soft and purring. You want to cozy up next to it and rub your face against it. It is comforting. Other times, it is raw and guttural. It makes you take notice, makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. I read recently that Adele heard Etta James sing when she was younger and that is when she knew she wanted to be a singer. Now that is inspiration, because no one did raw and gut-wrenching singing like Etta James. There are not very many vocal tricks in Adele’s singing; it is pure. One of the things I love the most is that she doesn’t need any vocal enhancements to make her sound better. When I sing in the shower, I think I sound pretty good. When Adele sings in the shower, she sounds like Adele. Makes me want to stop singing.
Lastly, we all have experienced heartache and pain due to a failed relationship. We all know how the tears come unmitigated, sometimes by surprise, sometimes willed to appear by our wanting to get it out. Adele’s 21 is one long crying session. It is the questions of why and how; it is the uncertainty of moving on; it is love set to music.
I normally grab a hold of a CD that I love and play it until I cannot stand to hear it any longer. I’ve been playing Adele’s 21 for almost exactly a year now, and every time I listen to it, I find something else that I love about it. There are only a handful of CDs that I can say that about. 21 is definitely one of those.
I’ve read so many books and written so many words this weekend that it’s all running together. It’s a busy season for me. Two online classes, increased responsibility at work, book club, editing my own book, and rehearsing for the Vagina Monologues. That’s a lot. But I like the busyness; I like having almost too much to do. It keeps my mind from becoming the devil’s playground. It keeps me from fantasy and imagination. It keeps me in reality.
So here I sit, on a cool 43° Sunday morning, writing. There is no place I would rather be, nothing I would rather be doing. I think of all the things that need to be done and I want to run and do them all at once. That’s impossible. I’ll tackle one thing at a time, making sure that my time is occupied. The busyness helps me to sleep better. The busyness allows me to appreciate those moments when I have the time to sit still and listen. The busyness will never find me complaining.
The one thing I never want to become is someone who loses kinship with busyness. I never want to find myself sitting alone, moving from room to room in my home, looking for busyness. I embrace all that busyness brings, and invite more. God has never given me more than I can handle. So during these times, I simply resolve to do. There is no other way I would have it.
Even when things seem to be going awry, even when I don’t think I can find the strength, even when I fall down…I am forever grateful. For my friends who tell me the truth, for my family that loves me no matter what, for all of life’s experiences…I can only say thank you. I know it all means something.
I woke up with this song on my heart. I pray that it speaks to you as it has spoken to me.
video credit: originally uploaded to YouTube on January 29, 2010 by BrotherAjay2
My mind is cluttered. I have so many things going on that I am having a hard time focusing. What bothers me is that most of the thoughts in my mind are questions, not answers. I like to think I am deliberate. I like to think that I move swiftly and walk ahead with purpose. This Sunday morning finds me indecisive and doubtful. I absolutely hate it when this happens.
I am going to blame it on the Full Moon. With every Full Moon that occurs, I get all in my feelings and things that I am trying to avoid or ignore stand up front and center in my face, demanding attention. I guess the positive way to look at this period of time is that it is the Universe’s reminder to me to close doors and end chapters. It also may be the Universe’s way of reminding me to stay open and free. Those things that I can’t seem to resolve (or honestly, won’t resolve) keep staring me in my face. What prevents me from dealing with them? What am I waiting on?
I think about shit too much. Even when I should let go and let God, I want to find a way to fix everything. That is just the way I’m built. It gets me into trouble when I run into something that I can’t or shouldn’t fix. I believe there are some things that are just meant to be. There is no repair to be done, no need to fiddle with it; just let it be what it is. I struggle with that, so I sit and think about it until I’ve exhausted myself and wind up…here.
The good news is that this is a temporary state. It will pass and I will get back to walking with purpose and being deliberate and afraid of nothing. For now, I am going to allow my mind to wander. I am going to allow myself to feel what I am feeling, hear what I am hearing, and be what I am. Eventually those questions that swirl around in my mind will have answers.
The first time I heard Beyoncé’s 4, I didn’t like it. It was different than what we normally get from her. That’s not to say that I thought it was bad; I just wasn’t quite ready to embrace this new, mature Beyoncé. Because I have a 3-go’round rule when listening to new music, I kept playing 4 in the hopes that something would eventually stick. By the time I was finished with my third listen, I was impressed.
It’s hard for an artist to go outside of what is expected of them and do something different. Yes, there are still songs on 4 that make you dance, and even some that could be adapted as personal anthems, but they all have a different feel to them. This is not the teenaged Beyoncé who is trying to establish herself. No, this is the married, about to be a mother, grown-ass Beyoncé. I like her.
This is also the Beyoncé that is still digging deep and finding herself. In my opinion, Beyoncé is probably the closest thing to the ultimate entertainer that we have seen since Michael Jackson (R.I.P.). I in no way believe that this is Beyoncé’s Thriller album…she’s branching out, but still holding on to the things that made her popular in the first place.
I thought it appropriate since it seems like everyone is on Baby Jayoncé watch that I give her CD another listen. 4 turned into one of my favorite CDs of 2011, and it leaves me wondering what she is going to do next. I look forward to continuing to watch her grow, both as a woman and artist.
I’m really glad to see 2011 go. It was a rough year, tarnished by tragedy and pain. The year 2011 wasn’t all bad; I met some wonderful people and had my eyes open to possibility. I have been thrown off my path by the flirtiness of love and life, and yet, I’m still here. That in itself is a huge blessing. And the lessons I’ve learned will stay with me and make me stronger, better, wiser.
One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned this year was that you cannot hide from love. It will chase you down and envelop you. It will tackle and twist you up, so much so that you no longer know if you are coming or going. No matter the form that love takes when it comes to you, I’ve learned that you must acknowledge it and not try to hide from it. It will find you, inevitably. What you do with that love is the most important lesson. Love is not to be kept or stored; love is for sharing and spreading. I’ve learned to be true to my feelings and acknowledge that they are valid and real, and to give that love freely, no matter the consequence.
This year, I lost my cousin Ed and my Aunt Fronnie. While it is always difficult to lose someone that you love, I find comfort in knowing that they were great people who lived their lives. My cousin Ed was a phenomenal man. A man that loved his family and friends, and who graciously gave his love to anyone who came in contact with him. I still cringe when I remember that his life was cut short by bullets and jealousy. It is my job, I believe, to continue to live fearlessly because of his death. Ed’s death taught me that tomorrow is never promised, and that in order to fully stand up in place destined for you, I have to be deliberate. Resting on my laurels will never get me the life I want…I must fear nothing and continue to progress.
This whole year was a reaffirmation of the blessings that I have been given. Even when I was down and out, I kept breathing, kept waking, kept receiving another chance to stand. I’m thankful for that. It may seem to be a simple blessing, but I think it’s the most important one. God has chosen me; he wants me to achieve and grow and be completely who I am. That’s why I keep waking in the morning; that’s why I still have a chance to go after all those things that have evaded me, in spite of myself.
“I look in the mirror…my only opponent…” (c) Jay-Z
I stand in my own way. I could look around and blame others for where I am, but truly I am my biggest obstacle. I’ve learned this year to get out of my own way, and let the universe take care of clearing my path. I had to swallow my pride this year and climb over seemingly unconquerable mountains, but I did it. When I got stuck, it was because I chose to stand and look around rather than continue on. I am moving, and I have to thank those that forever have their hands at my back, pushing me towards myself.
I have the most amazing friends. It has taken me a long time to establish friendships that are supportive and giving. My SisterFriends are the most amazing group of ladies that I know. I love them because they are honest and pure with me, all while coming from a place of love. I don’t have to worry about backbiting and jealousy, I don’t worry about that whole crabs-in-a-barrel mentality that I think plagues us as women. Any competition among us is healthy, and we don’t tear each other down in order to make ourselves look better.
I also came back to my family and made a commitment to be more involved. It is within the walls of my family that I learn life’s best lessons. I’ve learned how to be a woman, how to be a friend, and how not to ever give up from my family. We argue and fuss, we don’t speak to each other and get mad, but always come back to the center of it all when life throws a curveball. It’s not perfect; I still have ties that need repairing…I’m working on it.
Going into 2012, I am choosing to continue being positive. there is so much I could complain about…but why? Complaining never changes anything. I choose to take those things that impede my progress and find the positivity. I am living to find the possibilities. My motto for this year is simply,
“Remember that at any given moment, there are a thousand things you can love.” (c) David Levithan
I choose to find those things to love, rather than settle with the things to hate.
